35 Years Out And Proud (My Gay Anniversary)
He OUTED ME AS GAY I'm not sure IF he'd been Dared to do it by some Idiot.
Either way I cannot forgive the DJ for doing it, It was cruel and unjust.
After he OUTED me I got lots of hassle off straight lads in the club & I should have complained to the Manager about the DJ.
One of my Female school friends offered me a lift home that night after the disco finished just so I didn't get lynched.
Turned out accepting that lift home was the most sensible thing I could have done that night.
I have NEVER denied who and what I am & I guess thats what got up some peoples noses.
I couldn't go anywhere in my home town without being called QUEER or other abusive names by lowlife scum.
I got my nose broken by a punch from behind in one attack
I knew I was DIFFERENT when I was at Infants/Junior School and was confused by my sexuality for a lot of years.
My Sexuality ruined some childhood friendships I guess that was because people couldn't handle ME being Gay.
Someone I grew up with got really nasty towards me when they realised my sexual preference.
I got attacked on a regular basis as my Hometown is sadly HOMOPHOBIC!
The Gay Scene was/is virtually NON EXISTENT No Bars & No Nightclub. Nearest Bar in the early 1990s was 24 miles away.
The only way to meet another Gay person was in the Park or at the CottageCottage = Slang for Public Toilet
Its where GAY MEN in small towns had to meet in the days before the Internet and Websites and APPS like Gaydar, Grindr & Recon
Cruising for sex was a risky business in the late 1980s and in some places you needed balls of steel to even enter a Park or Common after dark
Police Officers Or Queer Bashers could turn up at any minute
I managed to avoid the Police & most of the Queerbashers while Cruising but I know of guys who weren't so Lucky.
IF I think of the risks I took Cruising in Parks, Toilets & Clubs I'm amazed I haven't ended up dead at the hands of a serial killer.
Most Risky place I've ever cruised would be Hampstead Heath Its quite scary
When it comes to one night stands I'm not proud of some of the things I've done or experienced but I had to experience Life.
In 1994 I moved to London and had my eyes opened by the Pubs and Clubs I went to.
Some of the Fetish clubs in London could be seedy flea pits.
Over the years I had a knack of meeting Men who have Lied to me, Stolen from me or Taken me for a MUG.
January 2001: I'd gone to meet someone who lived in Manchester who invited me up for a few days.
On the first night he Raped me. Despite me clearly saying NO to him he carried on regardless.
He threw me and my bag out the following morning.
I'm careful who I trust ONLINE these days since the attack.
I learned quickly that GAY MEN online weren't always who or what what they seemed.
In August 2001 I got diagnosed with HIV which I contracted from the Rape.
You would NOT believe the STIGMA that Gay Men have towards people with HIV
I'm tired of all the BULLSHIT that comes with being Gay and the Shit that comes from being HIV Positive.
Medication works wonders with HIV now its almost like I DON'T HAVE the Virus.
I'm UNDECTECTABLE now & if you can't handle my status then we're NOT going to get on!
There are a LOT of FAKE people with Fake Smiles on the Gay Scene and Sadly I mean a LOT.
People who were nice to your face but awful about you behind your back I hate those people.
35 years later I cannot be ARSED with the Gay SceneI've Forgotten more nights out on the scene than I care to remember
In 35 years I only met Two men who treated me properly.
I married someone called Iain who was always great to me he died in 2020 from an infection which I think was Covid.
We were Married for just shy of 8 years & we were together for 10 years
I miss Iain terriibly he made my life happy and relaxed.
I'm now Single and I have NO plans to ever go out on the Gay Scene or do Online Dating ever again.
Gaydar and Grindr are two things I'd avoid TBH especially Gaydar its where the real LOONIES hang out.